TV Update: Survivor Palau
March 27, 2004
A few weeks ago I wrote that, after two episodes, “Survivor: Palau” had promise to be one of the better seasons in the aging reality contest. I might have been wrong. The past two episodes that I’ve seen (barring Thursday’s episode) showed me a show struggling for new ideas by throwing old rules out and implementing variations on tired concepts. The March 16th episode was arguably the worst in “Survivor” history, thanks in part to two “twists” Mark Burnett wrongly thought would shake up a predictable, boring one-team domination thus far. Going into the immunity challenge, Ulong had yet to win, and Koror had yet to lose, making the tribes thoroughly uneven in number, so needing to get somebody, anybody off of the Koror beach, Burnett sent his lapdog, Jeff Probst, to tell the tribes before the challenge that no matter who wins, both tribes would be sending somebody home. In consolation for the unfair ouster, the winning tribe was allowed a beef stew (hooray!) meal in front of the losing tribe’s tribal council, rubbing in their superiority with mmm’s and ahhh’s at the yummy slop. This was wrong on two levels. First, beef stew is a horrible reward, little consolation for having to wrongfully boot a tribe mate (57 year old lawyer Willard) simply because they won, and secondly, because if poor Ulong had actually won said challenge, finally, they still would have had to kick another player off of their sad little beach. Punishing incompetence is one thing, but punishing victory isn’t a good strategy for a show that is usually one of the classiest of all reality shows.
Not only did Ulong have to suffer the shame of yet another loss, and a mocking beef stew-fed jury, but master wrench-thrower Probst laid another bomb- Koror had to vote, again, not for another unfair self-vote, but to unfairly protect an opposing Ulongian. They picked water-phobic strongman Ibrehem, who was on the chopping block, and forced Ulong to boot Angie, their strongest member, and one of the few remaining characters worth rooting for. So, in addition to a show where one tribe had to lose a member for no discernable reason, and beef stew is the catalyst for much shame and heartache, we now have high-and-mighty producers bending set rules in favor of a religious strongman who can’t swim and has little personality, as opposed to the homely, yet entertaining punk-chick who did nothing wrong except a poor eye for accessorizing. As far as stunts go, this rivals the reintroduction of two previously ousted characters on ‘Pearl Island’ as Burnett’s lamest, and cruelest twist yet, and softening us up with “Survivor” themed Pringles trivia a week later was hardly the way to make it up to us. As a loyal fan, I will continue to watch, and possibly grumble, about ‘Palau’ until the very end, but for now, my conscious is happier for this bitter reevaluation. On “Survivor”, I’d have been a goner because of it, but in real reality, grievances are best made in public, maybe not in person, or by phone, e-mail, or Morse code, but in print, safely hidden in black and white, behind a small photo, for all to enjoy, and all to ponder, safe and sound, outside the realms of television elasticity.
by Adam Suraf