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Emmy Recap September 19, 2005 |
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For anybody who picked up last Sunday’s paper, read my annual picks for the Emmy awards, and then went ahead and bet their life savings on said picks, I can only offer a heartfelt apology, because I’ll tell ya, they were pathetic. I’ll take some of the blame for going 2-10 in the dignified Will Win slot, and a paltry 1-10 in the Should Win slot, since it was my fault for thinking the Academy had some taste, and would actually get it right this year, but I was wrong, so for that, I’ll receive the punch. But most of the blame indeed falls squarely on the Academy’s shoulders for choosing one baffling winner after another, snubbing surefire winners for oddball choices and lame past winners. If it’s one thing the Emmy’s know, it’s how to award undeserving shows and performances, and this year was arguably the worst display of poor winners I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot about a group that usually never gets it right. The show got off on the wrong foot by giving “Everybody Loves Raymond’s” Brad Garrett yet another Supporting Actor Emmy instead of much more deserving nominees Jeremy Piven of “Entourage” and ‘Ray’s’ Peter Boyle, who had never won the award. The entire night was a sickening nostalgia fest for the departed CBS sitcom (a similar thing happened at the Grammy’s earlier this year with Ray Charles sweeping the awards simply because he’s dead), winning a predictable Supporting Actress award for Doris Roberts (again, yawn), and somehow taking the cake as the year’s Best Comedy over “Desperate Housewives” and “Arrested Development”, but you’d think if the Academy were going to get all weepy over the show they’d at least let the only cast member to never win the thing actually walk away with one. Too much to ask, I suppose, though the look on the aging Boyle’s face as Garrett won was priceless in a “Him Again?” kind of way. I’d go on about the show winning Best Comedy as well, but it is a funny show, and if I went on I’d only sound like I’m faulting ‘Ray’ instead of the boneheaded Academy, so we’ll just say it was a fitting capper to a bland and bogus night. Bizarre winners were the theme of the night, with such unpredictable choices like William Shatner for Best Supporting Actor over Alan Alda and Terry O’Quinn, “Huff’s” Blythe Danner for Best Supporting Actress, James Spader yet again as Best Dramatic Actor over the more deserving Hugh Laurie and Ian McShane, and a repeat Tony Shalhoub win for Best Comedy Actor over “Arrested Development’s” Jason Bateman. Of that bunch, Danner’s win came out of left field, though her anti-war speech was welcome, and Shatner winning for “Boston Legal” is almost as bad as cast mate Spader wining consecutive Best Actor honors, though to find the god awful worst winner of the night you’d have to look at the Best Drama Actress category, where the lock winner, Glenn Close, lost to “Medium’s” Patricia Arquette. I’d be a hypocrite to knock Arquette’s performance, since I’ve never really watched her show, but based on critical consensus, and the fact that Close’s performance on “The Shield” was an absolute knockout, it has to stand as the snub of the year. Elsewhere, Felicity Huffman’s Best Actress in a comedy win over Teri Hatcher was somewhat of a surprise, given Hatcher’s character is the funnier one on “Desperate Housewives”, but Huffman is a great actress, and her acceptance speech was sweet and funny, so that wasn’t a totally brain dead pick. Best of the night was Best Drama rightfully going to “Lost”, really the only pitch perfect selection of the night, it’s just too bad that by the time it came around, nearly three hours after Garrett’s win set the tone, I had already lost complete faith in the system. The broadcast itself was embarrassing and boring with usually funny host Ellen DeGeneres bombing with badly written jokes and poorly executed backstage pieces. I could have done without the ridiculous Emmy Idol musical numbers (somebody please put Donald Trump out to pasture already), and even appearances by David Letterman (paying a monotone tribute to Johnny Carson) and double-winner John Stewart felt tame and awkward. It’s kind of sad when the funniest piece of the night is a 30-second clip of “Family Guy’s” Griffin clan debating the nominees for Best Comedy Actress, with a well-timed Frankie Muniz joke by Stewie. And can somebody please tell me how HBO’s “The Life and Death of Peter Sellers” wins Best Writing, Directing, and Best Actor for a TV movie but is not awarded as the best movie of the year. If you can explain that to me, in fifty words or less, I’ll give you a hardy salute, and more respect than I’ll ever have for the television Academy again. I suppose it wasn’t all garbage, a tribute to Peter Jennings by Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather was heartfelt and touching, S. Epatha Merkerson’s win for “Lackawanna Blues”, writing and directing awards to “Lost”, “Arrested Development”, and “House” (for David Shore’s marvelously crafted late season “Three Stories” script, a beautiful episode that should have nailed Laurie the Emmy as well) were spot on, and a plea for charity by “Everybody Hates Chris’” Tyler Williams with a Katrina survivor was adorable, if not oddly placed at the tail end of the broadcast. All told, the show was as bad as the surprise names inside the white envelopes, leaving me bitter and none too hopeful that next year will be any better. If anything, I’ll finally learn my lesson, and just stop caring altogether.
by Adam Suraf |